Love thyself to no “degree”!

I was talking to a friend yesterday and he plans to do an MBA soon. Needless to say, our discussions revolved around the three letter word. He was patiently explaining the process to me about dates and applications and SOP and essays and interviews and the entire hoola hoop that comes with doing an MBA abroad.

So an application for an MBA abroad gives you three opportunities to apply – Round 1, 2 and 3. I had a wholly of questions. And we started discussing his essays, and how honest to God his answers will be in the first round of application. It was all about honesty and being practical, and how he will say it the way it is. Which is great, but what if he doesn’t get through the first time around? Pat came the answer – then I’ll compromise!

And it suddenly struck us how similar a relationship and an MBA application could be! First time around you are yourself, and honest. You hope that the other person would get it. That they would appreciate you for who you are and love you. But you slowly realize that that might not work. And you start changing, a little in the beginning, and then maybe a lot – after a while you might not even recognize yourself. And you do all this, because the person or in this case the degree is very important to you. This is where my discussion with my friend ended. We both laughed at how ridiculous but true this comparison was.

But as I write this post, I realize actually how ridiculous a relationship like that would be. I’m sure this is true of many relationships. But I disagree wholeheartedly. For me, a successful relationship would be one where you are accepted and not changed. The truth in a relationship is when its cherished because of you and not because of who you should be. The future is less important and the present is cared for. Because the stifling, choking sensation that comes with someone trying to change you chokes your relationship too. At the end of a lifetime its but a dull lifeless vacuum because the two people who are a part of it, are not there themselves – they have turned into someone else.

I’ve learnt it the hard way. Its important to love yourself so much that your partner loves you back. Its important to speak your mind against a change that is not acceptable to you. Because you are pretty awesome just the way you are! And you better believe it!

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5 thoughts on “Love thyself to no “degree”!

  1. Your argument holds but needs fleshing out. One gets into an MBA or a relationship showing the best parts of one’s personality, but changes during the course of things, not always because the other person wants it, but because it is for the overall quality of life to go up.

    There’s always scope for improvement, and for some people, a partner who can guide, and change themselves for the better is a good bet.

  2. Agreed! But then there are people who would like to change you not for the best but because you don’t fit their idea of who you should be, because they don’t like your clothes or the way you speak, or even how you behave. I am all for the changing for the better, but not for changing just for the heck of it!

  3. Good thinking!

    I am all for moulding myself to get into that one dream B-school.

    Pretending myself to be someone else for the sake of love, big mistake.

    A good B-school in more ways than one is the means to an end. Love is one of the many ends!

  4. Roni,
    Please choose a ‘Good’ B-School this time 🙂 and are you saying that you are going to find your love at that B-school?

    Change is good because it makes you uncomfortable and keeps you sharp in case your vision is fogged up. I think we only need to ask whether the change is worth it or not and it’s very simple to choose then.

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