French Vanilla vs. Belgian Chocolate

When I started writing this post, I wanted to call this Vanilla vs. Chocolate but then I thought that those are almost unheard of today. Even the plainest of them wants to be exotic so French Vanilla and Belgian Chocolate it is!

There was a time long ago that decisions were taken keeping in mind things like stability, security, practicality etc. Vanilla was preferred – because it was Sweet. Nice. Standard. Safe. Because it was liked by default and it did not challenge your taste buds enough to say – I want more!

And then came the options – it started with Chocochip which was inspired to give you a nutty taste that left you wanting some more. Which later became dark chocolate, which turned in to Belgian Chocolate – exquisite, decadent, sinful, rich, luscious and orgasmic! It leaves behind an after taste which is damn near unforgettable,  and keeps you craving for more of where that came from – unfailingly!

Needless to say at this point that I’m not talking about ice cream here. Our choices in men are similar. French Vanilla will never disappoint you because its safe. It will give you everything that you want, will never fail to make you happy. But are we willing to live our lives in the net of safety and or do we want to feel the thrill of adventure that leaves a shiver up our spine? Because if its ecstasy that you crave, there’s more to life than just French Vanilla!

26 and Single?

That combination rattled a close friend of mine enough to start an email thread titled “I don’t have a subject line for this…”

The email actually went like this-

25 and single… acceptable .. actually quite cool!

butttt… 26 and single… ummmmmmm ????????

How is it that a simple number can get us usually-sensible-women to lose our minds in a jiffy? If you think about it, it’s just a number right? You jump another year, blow candles on another birthday cake. But it’s not that simple, is it?

You also start to think about your age every time you are asked for your DOB on a feedback form at a restaurant, or at the doctor’s or when you see your friend getting married on Facebook or even better, having a baby on Facebook!

Are we so conditioned to society that our brains switch off as soon as we reach the 26 mark? How can we suddenly disregard everything that we’ve earned in the last 25 years – respect, love, money, career, friends, experience to feel that the only thing that matters anymore is that we do not have a husband on our arm?!

And what do we need him for really? Companionship – There are friends galore for that! Money – You are probably earning truckloads already! Boredom – Ever heard of Bungee Jumping? Sex – I could give you that one, but there are ways to work around that as well.

To me, the simple answer is simple – Love. Marriage is a celebration of love. Or have we forgotten that, in this race to tie the knot, do the deed, get hitched before we turn that dreaded number of 26?

Why are we so afraid to accept that we haven’t found love yet? That we deserve love – a love that will keep us happy and smiling for the rest of our lives? A love that will make us feel beautiful and sexy and exciting even when we are grey and wrinkly and wearing adult diapers? And in the meanwhile, why have we stopped celebrating our freedom, and the fact that we are sexier, lovelier, more sinful, exciting, experienced in the ways of the world?

Always remember – good things come to those who wait, because we only deserve the best.

#everygirl

Tickled by a twitter stream (TommyWee) that a friend shared with me, I thought I’ll create my own list of the crazy that we women are! My top ten are-

1. #everygirl underplays her sexual escapades

2. #everygirl checks out women (maybe even more than men do)

3. #everygirl has faked an orgasm

4. #everygirl is an attention seeking whore at heart, and hates when its taken away, even if it’s by her BFF

5. #everygirl has kept a count of every single fight that you’ve had with her

6. #everygirl can shower the compliments while thinking – What a bitch!

7. #everygirl secretly thinks that “being bitchy” is cool

8. #everygirl wants a gay friend

9. #everygirl has fantasized at least once about her Best Friend’s boyfriend

10. #everygirl deserves to be loved and called beautiful 🙂

If you have any others that you want to add to the list, add them in the comments section below!

Dear Arranged Marriages

My family is on a mission these days.

To find me a suitable boy. Marriage is the only thing on everyone’s mind. Everytime I talk to my mum or meet my grandparents, or meet that diamond studded aunty at a party who is just looking for gossip, or even the old uncles at work twiddling their thumbs over chai. The inevitable question always pops up- When are you getting married?

Why is it that as soon as we touch 25 (and I’m not even there yet so help me God) we stop being a person and become an advertisement- fair,24,homely,religious,loves to keep house and is willing to give up her life for the next eligible bachelor that comes along?

No matter how this sounds, I am not against marriages. Infact I’m totally sold out on the idea of love and happily ever after. I have been, since the day I read Cinderella. What I am against is how we are being sold on the marriage market – 24-5’1-very fair-loves to cook- 5x kgs. You can’t expect me to announce my weight on the internet dude!

Why can’t the description go something like this? Young, successful 24 year old who loves laughing and talking loudly, experiments with cheese and wine in the kitchen, reads avidly, can be compassionate and bitchy when it suits her, and wants a guy who will love and understand her unconditionally.

But the earlier description is what finds its way up on matrimonial sites and profiles which are furiously circulated amongst relatives. So I have a question today…

Dear Arranged Marriages,

Why are you so scared of the truth?

Please change your ways or we will continue to hate you.

– Disgruntled Me

Me Tarzan, you Jane?

One of my many bad habits includes not reading the newspaper every day!

My mornings usually start with waking up to my phone, which has finally stopped snoozing coz I already hit the button 10 times! And then a mad dash to the loo, a wild rush to get ready in fifteen minutes flat because I was supposed to be at work half an hour ago!

Where is the time to read the newspaper?! I’m also just plain lazy about that sort of a thing.

So last Sunday, a close friend pointed out this article to me because we have a constant battle about who is the man. When he read this one, he perked up and made me read it. When I read the title (Me Tarzan, You Jane?), my first thought was – Its another one of those which pick on women today.

But when I read on, I kinda related to the whole thing. It is true, and I’ve heard this from many of my male friends. Men today are intimidated by the female species. Because the male instinct is all about the cave man style lovin’!

Men want to beat their chests and protect and carry us around with them! What they don’t get is that we don’t need to be carried around anymore. Most women I know today are earning shit loads of moolah, have friends who are just like them so there is no dearth of company, are taking vacations on their own to the most exotic places in the world, wear high heels and power suits and are probably bossing over ten Tarzan types!

That brings us back to what I read – What do we “Jane’s” want?

We want a connection. An intellect that is as strong as ours. A stimulant that gives us an orgasm in our minds. A conversation that we can live with for the rest of our lives. Someone who will hold our interest till the day we die. That’s love for us. Its not diamonds (although those are important too), or a BMW (we won’t mind that either), but love that will let us be. It won’t want to snatch our freedom, and take away those things that we like to do, irrespective of whether you like them. Love is someone who will let us be – women.