26 and Single?

That combination rattled a close friend of mine enough to start an email thread titled “I don’t have a subject line for this…”

The email actually went like this-

25 and single… acceptable .. actually quite cool!

butttt… 26 and single… ummmmmmm ????????

How is it that a simple number can get us usually-sensible-women to lose our minds in a jiffy? If you think about it, it’s just a number right? You jump another year, blow candles on another birthday cake. But it’s not that simple, is it?

You also start to think about your age every time you are asked for your DOB on a feedback form at a restaurant, or at the doctor’s or when you see your friend getting married on Facebook or even better, having a baby on Facebook!

Are we so conditioned to society that our brains switch off as soon as we reach the 26 mark? How can we suddenly disregard everything that we’ve earned in the last 25 years – respect, love, money, career, friends, experience to feel that the only thing that matters anymore is that we do not have a husband on our arm?!

And what do we need him for really? Companionship – There are friends galore for that! Money – You are probably earning truckloads already! Boredom – Ever heard of Bungee Jumping? Sex – I could give you that one, but there are ways to work around that as well.

To me, the simple answer is simple – Love. Marriage is a celebration of love. Or have we forgotten that, in this race to tie the knot, do the deed, get hitched before we turn that dreaded number of 26?

Why are we so afraid to accept that we haven’t found love yet? That we deserve love – a love that will keep us happy and smiling for the rest of our lives? A love that will make us feel beautiful and sexy and exciting even when we are grey and wrinkly and wearing adult diapers? And in the meanwhile, why have we stopped celebrating our freedom, and the fact that we are sexier, lovelier, more sinful, exciting, experienced in the ways of the world?

Always remember – good things come to those who wait, because we only deserve the best.

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Miserably Addicted

Addiction is easy.

And it’s not limited to drugs or alcohol or cigarettes, as most of us see it.

Addiction can be love, happiness, even misery. Especially misery. How many times have we been hurt or dumped unceremoniously and cried buckets over it? And instead of wanting to feel better, we like to wallow in the misery? Without even realizing it, we love how sadness surrounds us because misery is an envelope of self-pity that lets us elevate ourselves to a pedestal where we achieve a God like status where we are above the world as we see it, and especially above the ones who hurt us.

It’s a bitter truth to swallow but it’s true. And it only takes a moment to realize that we have let ourselves become miserable. That in the misery, we are hurting ourselves more.

It’s not easy because self-pity is addictive. But addiction is an intoxicating mistake. And mistakes have one advantage – they can always be mended.