This post is dedicated. To that kind of a friend.
At 25, I never thought I’d be writing one about my best friend. Because I’ve made so many over the last couple of years and they all mean so much and also because it just seems a tad silly to go gushing about your best friend like you did in school. I almost feel like a five year old coming home and telling mommy all about how my best friend got the most amazing eraser shaped like an ice cream cone to school!
But gushing I am. Because she deserves gushing. Because something big is happening. Because over the last seven years that I’ve known her, she has gushed every time I’ve had news. Doesn’t matter how big or small my news is. It could just quite simply be that I fit into a dress which was two sizes smaller a few months ago (although that has never happened to me) or it could be as big as me getting a boyfriend! She never fails to gush and be excited and soooooper happy (as she puts it) about anything and everything that happens in my life.
But she isn’t all gush. She’s also the warm I-will-give-you-a-bear-hug so big that you will stop crying and I-will-listen-to-you-whine about inconsequential stuff all night long without complaining.
And its not just with me. I know at least ten other people that she does all of this with. Because she is that kind of a friend.
Her name is Siddhi and most of you who follow my blog would know her because she is bloody important to me. If you are reading this and you know her, I’d love to hear what else you love about her, apart from the fact that she is absofuckinglutely awesome!!
I was talking to a friend yesterday and he plans to do an MBA soon. Needless to say, our discussions revolved around the three letter word. He was patiently explaining the process to me about dates and applications and SOP and essays and interviews and the entire hoola hoop that comes with doing an MBA abroad.
So an application for an MBA abroad gives you three opportunities to apply – Round 1, 2 and 3. I had a wholly of questions. And we started discussing his essays, and how honest to God his answers will be in the first round of application. It was all about honesty and being practical, and how he will say it the way it is. Which is great, but what if he doesn’t get through the first time around? Pat came the answer – then I’ll compromise!
And it suddenly struck us how similar a relationship and an MBA application could be! First time around you are yourself, and honest. You hope that the other person would get it. That they would appreciate you for who you are and love you. But you slowly realize that that might not work. And you start changing, a little in the beginning, and then maybe a lot – after a while you might not even recognize yourself. And you do all this, because the person or in this case the degree is very important to you. This is where my discussion with my friend ended. We both laughed at how ridiculous but true this comparison was.
But as I write this post, I realize actually how ridiculous a relationship like that would be. I’m sure this is true of many relationships. But I disagree wholeheartedly. For me, a successful relationship would be one where you are accepted and not changed. The truth in a relationship is when its cherished because of you and not because of who you should be. The future is less important and the present is cared for. Because the stifling, choking sensation that comes with someone trying to change you chokes your relationship too. At the end of a lifetime its but a dull lifeless vacuum because the two people who are a part of it, are not there themselves – they have turned into someone else.
I’ve learnt it the hard way. Its important to love yourself so much that your partner loves you back. Its important to speak your mind against a change that is not acceptable to you. Because you are pretty awesome just the way you are! And you better believe it!
After a week in Bangalore behind me, I am sitting at the airport and looking back at one of my best trips to this city, feeling happy that I came, and sad that I’m leaving so soon.
I’ve been visiting Bangalore for six years now, and each time I come back, I fall in love again. I fall in love with the tree-lined roads, the slight chill in the air that creeps in by evening, the exciting food, the music that plays on Radio Indigo, the crazy traffic that makes you *beep* *beep*, the laziness.
My Bangalore in pictures
My excitement at visiting the city started every day with breakfast in the office cafeteria, the constant being ooodless of sambhar (which wasn’t sweet) and spicy coconut chutney! And then cups and cups of filter coffee! Imagine how thrilled I was when I found out that it was free 🙂 Evenings were spent with old friends, getting happy high, and talking in the wee hours of the morning.
I miss all you guys – HP, FD, DD, NS, SLS, SS, KD and Bangalore wouldn’t be Bangalore without all of you!
I want to go back 😦
The blog finally has a feel of ME. All thanks to Adi!
Love the header image darling!